Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
