I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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