Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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