I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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