After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
