Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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