Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Come share oat with me in your robe
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
