Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
