he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
