if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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