I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i already hear my dad disowning me
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
