how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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