Michael Bay diarrhea
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
