Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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