We won't sleep together?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
