I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
