Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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