the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
