only if we run a train.
done.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
