You smell like a Billy Joel song
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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