found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
