That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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