I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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