please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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