I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
