Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
