She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
