What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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