So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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