i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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