She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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