Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
