my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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