She's JV to your varsity
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
