There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
