I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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