im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
How does one acquire holy water?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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