remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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