ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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