So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
