Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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