Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
