oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
