Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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