But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
