I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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