i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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