My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
