yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
