This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Enjoy the penises
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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