Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
